About Short Stories

Dear future historian,

I didn't always appreciated short stories. They left me an uncomfortable feeling, like hearing a song for the first time. I thought that they don't give me enough time to connect with the characters, emotionally, or feel that I have enough evidence to make a certain moral judgment about them.

It was only last year that I realised the ability that short stories have to teach us how to zoom and focus in the moment, in the 'Here and Now.'

Plus I feel lately that I just can't make a long term commitment to a story atm. You see, I always spend a lot of time thinking of the characters and the plot of any novel I read. But now I have to focus on other things, quite a lot of things.

Fighting the Dragon of Chaos

Dear future historian,

I still haven't managed consistency with your letters.. but believe me, I'm trying. I have a test next week and I'm studying. I'll tell you all about it next week. For now I want to focus on anxiety again.

I was watching Jordan Peterson's family update video, that he did some days ago with his daughter, and part of it was his description of severe anxiety attacks and akathisia..

https://youtu.be/qQyhn9DPE00

Dear future historian, day 2.

Start over and over again.. and again

Dear future historian,

Some days I feel empty, like all my energy has been used. Like fatigue is stronger than me. These days I've learned to start over, to begin again. 

About 10 years ago, I was living in Thessaloniki, Greece, up on hill, about 30 minutes walking distance from the centre. I frequently took long walks, with my baby girl in a slink. One day I met my mum, went out for a walk in the centre, then went to a play area for quite some time, then started walking up the hill, home. On the way I suddenly realised that it has been more than 6 hours since the last time I ate anything, and the baby hasn't stopped breastfeeding, and I feel like passing out. Half way home I felt like I couldn't make another step. That was as far as my limits can take me.