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7/15/2020

Weeping angels survivors

Dear future historian,

Remember when I went to India in 2001 (five and a half months in a biblical school?) What happened to those journals? I think there left in Greece, in my sister's shed or something. I hope you find them. So, I was remembering India today. And that woman again that I saw two men 'casting demons' out of her, by shaking her head, violently, and blaming her screams to the demons, not their harassment. That was the moment of..

Ok.. so yesterday I was interrupted again and then I fell asleep early, so I didn't make my daily -unspoken- promise for 'a-post-a-day.' Well, I suppose it was a smart move to not actually say out loud that promise. There is something in failing promises that damages people's souls, in way. It makes us not trust our own self. A terrible outcome, if you consider that we are the writers of our own life.

I know many people, Sam Harris (whom I really respect) is one of them, don't believe in this kind of hocus pocus ideas..

But if we give any kind of trust in statistics.. we should pay attention to all other inexplicable things too.

To me it's so obvious that our thoughts effect our reality and that we do have free will. And that all that are actually only potentials.. and we have to be present and focused to actually see the results and ever to just really be.

We stay in the potentially face, not even existing for real.. and then we wonder why videos are so random on YouTube, when we can just type the video we like. A life full of random playlists is not a proof that the search bar is not there.

Anyway.. back to my yesterday's unfinished pattern of thought.

What strikes me always with history, the parts that are so obvious absurd for us today, life slavery and women's place, hygiene and stuff like that..

I was always wondering how difficult it must have been for the few people, ahead of their time, that could so clearly see these events how we see them. But they had to live in that timeline. Like if a weeping angel left them there (Doctor who reference.)

Maybe because I could see in the 80's how crazy those eyebrows were, or maybe it was the decorations of the degenerated stores fighting their survival from the first big supermarkets, or something like that.

I remember walking about the city centre and wandering why everything was so

 

Ok.. 2nd interruption. Where were we? You see, this is why you are my only solution atm (at the moment) my dear future historian. It's hard for me to write something more coherent that a diary, when I still don't have my own room to work. Anyway. I guess I have to manifest a room.. Let's see.

I was talking about the 80's and India, right?

Basically my point was a memorial.. to all the unknown people through history, that were ahead of their time, and could clearly 'see' the absurdity of their contemporaries.

That 'exorcism' was so clearly artificial, so undoubtedly an abuse.. yet it took me two more years to leave church.

It's so hard to balance the voices of peer pressure.. most by dead people.. with the voice of our own interpretations of the World.

When we are (so obviously for us) been treated unfairly, or we witness someone else being harassed.. what could I, a 19 year old foreigner girl do to 'save' that woman that even herself seemed to believe that he resistance was demonic?

As for me? My entire World, my whole cosmo-theory was collapsed with the earthquake that the shaking of that woman's head.. manifested in mine.

How could I help her, when I needed first-aids myself?

For years I was carrying the burden for not stepping up that day.

I spend 2 years in therapy after India. I had to rebuild not just my life but also my Universe, my view of the World.

Today I believe that I couldn't really do anything that day. And I should have never blamed myself for centuries of women oppression and religious superstition. That's a burden no 19 year old should be blamed for not carrying..

Yet on that day I promised my self (not like the a-post-a-day.. but really promised) that I will not stay silent. That I will be remembered, by my dear future historians.. as one of the people that, with my writings, helped humanity see more clearly what I, and with my many contemporaries and many others lost through history, can see clearly.

That people are equal and stuff..

Well.. it seems today won't be the day yet that I make my rememberable, eye opener, statement of how people should treat each other. Atm I need to go.

But, before I do.. I wanna thank you, my dear future historian, for keeping me sane. May you, anyone who reads that, always have someone to keep you sane.

P.S. I love David Tennant here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwdbLu_x0gY


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