Gaslighting

Deal? What deal? Oh! That deal. I think you’re missing the point of ‘the deal.’ The deal was I manage the rules. And you just apologise for existing. Apologise for trying. Feel sorry for kissing the frog and expecting a Prince. You want a gentleman? That's discrimination to monsters. Sleep alone today and reflect on your unreasonable expectations of respect for yourself.

Go to work, but first make me a sandwich, love. And I'm not asking too much, because you can just say ‘No,’ if you realise how useless you are to even make a stupid little snack.

You’re back already and you want to be intimate tonight? I'll pass. I'll wait for when you're not in the mood.

Let's go shopping. I hate the way you’re driving. And, don't procrastinate at each shelf. We said we wouldn't take too long. What do you mean you’re just following the shopping list? This is taking forever. Let's just go. Oh, wait. I need to spend half an hour to choose which crisps I want. I have different rules for you and different standards for me? Do you realise how paranoid you sound like? I’ll just walk out and let you pay.

Holidays are coming. Perfect. You're more sensitive during these days. Why on earth you're so sensitive? I was just joking when I said you're worthless. You should go check that sensitivity. It's really annoying. I don't drink, I don't cheat, I'm not violent. It’s perfectly normal to open up the bathroom door during a fight, and it’s a given that we should have access to each-other’s messages. It's you that's crazy.

What do you mean you read on Facebook that my behaviour is gaslighting? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. I expected you to be more sophisticated than let social media influence your life. How could you even mention that 5 years ago I got out of your car at the traffic light because you drive so boringly slowly? Why do you still live in the past? Stop being such a drama queen. What’s wrong with you? I'll stop talking to you for 3 weeks to remind you how much you need me to bear your pathetic existence.

See, I knew you'd miss me. I'm sorry if I'm too much sometimes but that's part of my charm you know, and it's not exactly like you don't deserve that kind of reaction. I mean look at you! You're a total mess. Your family agrees with me. You're lucky that I saved you from your unimportant life and gave you a taste of how it would feel like if you weren't such a catastrophe. And, I guess I'm kind of lucky to have you too, loving me and all that. I’ll even let you choose the movie tonight, because, as we said and should keep repeating, you're so lucky to have me. Actually, I don't like that movie, I'll play with my friends tonight.

You cut your finger while preparing food, but you want to eat first before going to the hospital? I’ll go back to bed then, because if you don’t care enough to run right away to the hospital, why should I care? I have to go to work later too you know.

See you after your shift. I'll have a nap for now. And before you go, make me that f@%#% sandwich. Actually, I know you're already late, but I could have a quicky right now. And after I'm done... don't forget some mayonnaise in that sandwich. You know that all wouldn't happen if instead of crying you had a proper meal ready, like a normal person. Also, I noticed that you didn’t do the laundry with my clothes yet. But whatever. I'll accept you for who - no matter how useless - you are. What will you do without me?

With love, your frog/Prince.