The other day, one of my friends on Facebook was trying to introduce to me a 'new' miraculous way of thinking that will help me: overcome the health problems that (according to my social media feed) I have been accumulating, due to my 'wrong' way of thinking! This made obvious to me that most of you do not really know who I am, and it is understandable to make wrong conclusions, when all I’m giving you is random posts, connected to my here-and-now, unrelated with my story thread. So, let me introduce myself.
I
was born in the midst of my parents intense (6 decades so far, and still
ongoing) spiritual journey (more on that on the novel I’m working on now).
This, and my personal thirst for knowledge, introduced me both to Eastern
wisdom and esoteric Christianity. Since I was 2 years old, I was taken to
prayer-groups, bible-studies, as well as yoga, meditation, breathing techniques
groups, keeping-a-diary-for-self-observation and 'remembering' yourself groups,
astral projection techniques groups…
When
I was 19, I attended a 6-months bible study course in Madras, India. By then I
had read the bible many times already, I could read the New Testament in the
original Greek, and I had my own experience of group prayers. After, Christianity
disappointed me, I started writing in the Yoga World magazine, where I had to
study many books, to write for each topic I was given. Luckily my parents where
already not just familiar but experts in all that, so they could guide me to
appropriate and tested resources. At the same time, I was initiated in
Transcendental Meditation, by a teacher that had his meditation training in San
Francisco, in the 1970s, with the teacher that the Beetles had. I then
practiced intensively, for 2 years, yoga and martial arts with my very
experienced father, and I also completed a seminar for kids yoga, and another for
prenatal yoga.
Later,
I went to various spiritual groups. Gnostic Christians (that was very different
than the Protestants, Pentecostals, and Orthodox Christians that I had already
been part of), and groups that study the systems of Gurdjieff. I read books
from Ouspensky, and Carlos Castanenda. I have studied various books about the
law of attraction (feel free to ask me for information if you are very new to this).
Then I explored Greek mythology, the Tibetan and the Egyptian book of dead,
Alchemy, and Bhagavad Gita. Carl Young's books helped me find a balance within
me. Solipsistic ideas helped me realise the one-suchness of the Cosmos. Jordan
Peterson's lectures (3 x 22 h of lectures that I watched all and read all 3 of
his books) helped me come in peace with the masculine energy and society.
In
psychology, except a foundation degree in it, I have self-studied about schematic
representation therapy, and had gestalt counselling and Cognitive behavioural
therapy. I should also mention the two theatre groups I participated. One back
in 2004, in Greece, and one here, in the UK, that I am still part of, and is
the best group I’ve ever been (and I’ve had a lot of group experiences, as you
know). During all that, and many other groups, I had to overcome my undiagnosed
autism, ADHD, asthma and fibromyalgia. While I am raising 2 autistic kids and, till
3 years ago, being in an emotionally abusive relationship with their father.
Having
home births was the most spiritual experience. Having been abused by various
people and various institutions I struggled untill then to trust myself. But
managing to be in full control of my labours, breastfeeding my children, and
raising them with attachment parenting approach, after reading tones of books,
and watching tones of informational videos about raising humans, made me feel
more confident in myself, and my mind. Additionally, I have worked, with my
parents and sisters, on healing generational trauma (a never-ending work-in-progress
journey).
Since
then, I have managed to end the toxic relationship, to study at university
(with kids, dyslexia; now I have a 2:1 philosophy bachelor’s degree, and I continue
my studies in creative writing now), I self-published 4 books, and I found the love of my life.
So,
when I share with you all these diagnoses, I am proud for having managed my
symptoms for years and years now, so well, as to be undiagnosed for so many
years. I do not share to hear that I have no idea about how to manage my life,
and that is what ‘makes me sick’, and 'you' will 'save' me. I wanna hear if you
are having the same problems and you need someone to talk to. That I would understand
if you insisted. Otherwise, I care not to listen to your spiritual promotion,
or anyone else’s.
I
had ADHD and I’m autistic since birth, and asthma since I was little. My
fibromyalgia symptoms started to be noticeable to me since my little one was
born, 9 years ago. Yet, all the things I have learned, everything I have
written in my meditation book, and my will power, have helped me manage my
difficulties so well that my conditions went undiagnosed for all these years.
It seems to me that I should not allow, out of principle, people to call me to
tell me that my thoughts are making me sick. I can’t allow it for everyone else
that might be sick, and instead of compassion and understanding, they get
blamed for their struggles; by ‘well intended’ people.
Instead,
I—Lotous Michalopoulou, today 29/05/2023—I have something to promote. Well,
that’s the thing, I’m not ready to do the promotion thing yet. I am in a
creative estrus now. For those of you that haven't read my meditation book,
that is an amalgam of everything I've learned and tested all these decades. For
those of you that have read it, you have to give me the summer to edit my next
self-help book, and my novel (are you sure you’ve read all my creative stories
yet?). For the ones that have not read my books, I am very confident to say
that my self-help book, helped so much my chronic pain from fibromyalgia, and
my anxiety, that this delayed my diagnoses for 9 years. I hope my meditation
system will help you as much as it helped me. And last, please, never ever tell people that
their struggles is their mind-set fault, and you can save them. This is moral
bulling. Anyhow, I support Preferentism*.
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