Post-diagnosis

Dear future historian,

There is a tiny numbness, after my diagnoses. But it is not caused by it. Quite the opposite. I feel like if the un-officiality of my self-diagnosis (not to mention the years of ignorance b4* that,) had deeply affected my understanding of myself and my needs.

Many people don’t understand the reason to seek a piece of paper to make it official. Others don’t even understand why someone would get to the trouble of research to self-diagnose. And all reactions are valid. I am only sharing my story, in the hope to help create, for you my dear future historian, a more inclusive world.

Intergalactic cable, or penguins?

Dear future historian,

 

My need to dedicate my journals to.. someone, started in my teens. I was raised in a born-again Christian family, and it was not a matter of debate whether there is any kind of privacy at all, even in my head. Both God and the devil supposed to have my brain's passwords or something, and I would have to be judged, or at least forgiven, for each thought that had questionable motives.

Thus my thoughts had a feeling of.. how do we see in the movies these interrogation rooms with the double mirror, that’s glass from the other side? And I always thought it looked silly when people used it as a mirror, as if they didn't know that they were being watched.

My autism diagnosis is finally official!

Dear Future historian,

It is finally official! Today was my assessment and I can now declare myself as proudly autistic, with a diagnosis.

Wow! About 3 years in a w8ing* list, 2 years before that till I actually take the courage to get in that list, and b4** that 34 years of ignorance.. of not knowing why I am so different from most people, and so similar to a few.