Existential terror crises

Dear future historian,

 

24/07/2020

1:41pm

I am having a small existential terror crisis, Steven-Fryed induced, bless him. So, remember the ‘Victorian secrets?’ Apparently, the Spiritual movement started as a ripple effect, by some ‘Fox sisters,’ that fraud people using.. sound effects (!) to convince ppl* they communicate with ghosts. So.. you know, then YouTube algorithm suggested Fry's documentary, that he speaks about being bipolar and gives a brief description of how the manic episodes manifest differently on each person; in some it can be something like a religious fever, or god-syndrome, or.. spirituality obsession. Then Sam Harris in a podcast the other day talked about fraud-gurus..

Post-diagnosis

Dear future historian,

There is a tiny numbness, after my diagnoses. But it is not caused by it. Quite the opposite. I feel like if the un-officiality of my self-diagnosis (not to mention the years of ignorance b4* that,) had deeply affected my understanding of myself and my needs.

Many people don’t understand the reason to seek a piece of paper to make it official. Others don’t even understand why someone would get to the trouble of research to self-diagnose. And all reactions are valid. I am only sharing my story, in the hope to help create, for you my dear future historian, a more inclusive world.

Intergalactic cable, or penguins?

Dear future historian,

 

My need to dedicate my journals to.. someone, started in my teens. I was raised in a born-again Christian family, and it was not a matter of debate whether there is any kind of privacy at all, even in my head. Both God and the devil supposed to have my brain's passwords or something, and I would have to be judged, or at least forgiven, for each thought that had questionable motives.

Thus my thoughts had a feeling of.. how do we see in the movies these interrogation rooms with the double mirror, that’s glass from the other side? And I always thought it looked silly when people used it as a mirror, as if they didn't know that they were being watched.