7/25/2020

Existential terror crises

Dear future historian,

 

24/07/2020

1:41pm

I am having a small existential terror crisis, Steven-Fryed induced, bless him. So, remember the ‘Victorian secrets?’ Apparently, the Spiritual movement started as a ripple effect, by some ‘Fox sisters,’ that fraud people using.. sound effects (!) to convince ppl* they communicate with ghosts. So.. you know, then YouTube algorithm suggested Fry's documentary, that he speaks about being bipolar and gives a brief description of how the manic episodes manifest differently on each person; in some it can be something like a religious fever, or god-syndrome, or.. spirituality obsession. Then Sam Harris in a podcast the other day talked about fraud-gurus..

10:33pm

Being in the last year of my 30s, living all my life among all kinds of spiritual people, having written a mindfulness with Nature book and having a bad day.. Do you see where I'm going with this? = Existential terror crises.

But since 2pm, that I had to interrupt my letter to you, my dear future historian, I had the best day with the kids. And that reminded me that the point of life is Life itself. That the only goal that really matters is to make sure we, all together, collectively, work to give to the next generations, and you, a better World (Note to self: wow that was a lot of commas ;-p )

In a way it doesn't even matter if the Spiritual movement started by a fraud. If there are no gods, or if we killed him/her/them.. then let’s make some new ones ourselves. ‘By our own image.’ But let's not make them how we are, let's make them how we wanna be. Let's create our own meaning for Life. I know Peterson says that can’t work.. but maybe if we ‘save the father from the bottom of the wale’ and keep the ancient wisdom? I don’t know.

If we don’t include the next generations in that meaning.. if we don't start thinking about the ripple effects through history, that our actions create.. then where else do we expect to find that meaning?

We don't even need to have our own kids to affect the next generations. Fox sisters’ effects didn't come from child bearing. The thought I'm struggling to communicate is basically.. even if Spirituality used a fraud as the ‘rock that started it's ripples,’ still if you hug a Tree it does make you feel better. In a way people need to start looking for the synchronicity to start flowing.

 

25/07/2020

9:10am

Good morning. I fell asleep yesterday.. again.

10:21am

OK.. thank you for bearing with me. My life and my neurodiversity carry many interruptions and I am not so sure that I make so much sense with these disturbings. Maybe solving the existential terror problem can’t just happen in a diary entry that is done in a hurry, in the middle of a chaotic day. Right in there though, in these days of Chaos, of Dragons and hidden treasures.. it is in these days that Myths and Legends are born. And my first novel is been cooking up for years now; my Spiritual legend. A ripple effect that stated from a fraud, gave birth to Carl Jung, gave a name to archetypes.. opened up ppl*’s eyes in synchronicity, opened scientist’s eyes to quantum physics, had an alien and a medieval alchemist meet in the 1980s, and gave birth to me and my novel, for a bet between gods. (My novels plot.)

Yet this book has to w8.** My studies and the kids do come first atm.*** It just so hard to have a story overflow me.. and no time or concentration to give it a form. And it is so annoying to know that you, my dear future historian, know already what is going to happen in my life. (I am not really mad, I just tried to make a joke, but as you see I better just go do some self-care.)

Note to self: focus on the practical atm*** and remember to take care of yourself too.

 

*people

**wait

***at the moment

Image creator: Christina Christidou. Find her work here:

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