Lexi-Crisis goes to the Theatre

 Lexi-crises: Neurodiversity

Script by Lotous Michalopoulou

 

 

Characters:

Neurotypical

ADHD

Autism

This short story is part of a work-in-progress anthology that started in 2021. It’s a collection of Christmas stories, in a Greek taverna in London. But, on this Taverna, the characters are not humans. They are words! Yes. Words. They are not really stuck in books as we think. No, they don’t. They have their own individual lives, hopes, and stories.

You can find previous Lexi-crises stories here:

https://dearfuturehistorians.blogspot.com/2022/01/lexi-crisis-ii-empathy.html

 

INSIDE / LONDON TAVERNA BATHROOM / NIGHT

Fade in.

The door opens and Neurotypical comes in. We hear smooth music from the Taverna till the door shuts back. She is walking towards the tabs, and she is playful with the water and the mirror. Smooth sensory experience.

 

The door opens again. We hear people music and clatter mixing overwhelmingly. Autism enters. Lights on stage get brighter. She makes a couple of steps with her hand shutting her ears, till the door shuts back and the noise from the Taverna stops, and Autism stops when she sees Neurotypical, as if she got jumped-scared.

 

Neurotypical

Hi. Nice party! Boy, am I drunk.

 

Autism replies with a shy nob.

 

Neurotypical*

Did you see that boys can come in here now? When I was little and thinking 2024, I was dreaming of flying cars, or al least skateboards, like in back to the future. But, a mix gender bathroom? This I did not imagine. Not that I mind. No.

 

As Neurotypical* talks, Autism walks towards the loo, opens the door with her sleeve, and realises there’s nowhere to hang her stuff. She comes out stressed and confused what to do. She takes her coat off.

 

Neurotypical is just finished talking, and she is looking in the mirror. She sees Autism frozen and turns to her.

 

Neurotypical

Are you OK?

 

Autism

I’m OK.

The door opens. ADHD’s music.

ADHD enters. We hear his music from his headphones. He sees girls and gets confused. He takes his headphones off.

 

ADHD

Sorry. Wrong...

 

Neurotypical

No. It’s a mix gender bathroom. We were just talking about that actually.

 

ADHD smiles politely. He goes to put his headphones back, and heads to the toilets, but sees Autism in stress, holding her coat awkwardly.

 

ADHD

Do you need help?

 

Autism

There is no hook in there! No hook. Nothing to hang my staff or something.

 

ADHD

I could hold your coat for you if you like.

 

Autism

Thank you SO much. Could you also hold this...

 

Pointing her purse to him. She’s going towards him to pass him the coat and purse, but Neurotypical starts playing with the hand-dryer. It’s way too loud. Autism gets jump-scared, drops her coat, and freaks out, breathing way too fast.

ADHD

Don’t worry. We can fix this. I have a solution. But first, focus on breathing. Inhale, hold for a bit, exhale. (He takes something out of his backpack). Antibacterial spray! Just for occasions like this.

 

ADHD picks up the coat and sprays it. Then he uses an antibacterial gel hanging from a hook of his backpack. Then he puts the spray back and zipps the bag. He takes the antibacterial off its hook and offers it to Autism.

Autism takes some antibacterial.

 

Neurotypical (Inner dialogue)

What on earth are those two are doing? What is that spray? Did he say antibacterial? Did no one tell them the pandemic is gone? Have I entered a time portal? And, if she did need help, why she didn’t accept mine? Rude!

 

Neurotypical

I thought you said you are OK. Why didn’t you ask me for help?

 

Autism

I can’t explain. People don’t understand.

 

ADHD

I think she is struggling to explain to you at the moment, as she is overwhelmed. (Towards Autism) I get non-verbal too when I am stressed.

 

Autism nobs affirmatively.

 

Neurotypical

Oo, sorry. I didn’t realise you two know each other. What happened to her? Can I help?

Autism

No. No. No.

 

ADHD

No. We haven’t met before. And, I don’t think anything happened to her other than what we both know already. (He turns to Autism for confirmation).

Autism

Germs. Germs. They’re everywhere. And, their favourite place must be public bathrooms. Is that not enough?

 

Neurotypical laughs hysterically and drunk.

 

Autism withdraws with a step back and stays frozen till ADHD addresses her.

 

ADHD

Hey. That wasn’t very nice. Was it?

 

Neurotypical

Oo. You ARE serious. Lol. Sorry. I though she was kidding. I am quite drunk let me remind you. But, I did not mean to offend her. I sincerely apologise. I just want to understand. All this stuff are very new to me.

 

ADHD to Autism

I am sorry this happened to you. But, it’s OK now. I will keep your staff safe. You can go.

 

Autism goes in one of the toilets, opening the door with her sleeve.

 

ADHD turns to Neurotypical

Most people are what is called ‘neurotypical’. Self-explanatory. They have a ‘typical’ brain. But, some people are neurodiverse. Their brain… our brain, is wired differently. We experience the world, everything around us, in a different way than most you… well, most people do. I don’t want to assume your neurons.

 

Neurotypical

Hahahahahaha. I guess you can’t assume either gender or neurons now days.

 

ADHD

You DO sound drunk. Imagine how you’ll be tomorrow morning. Imagine a perpetual hungover, without even having the previous night. Our everyday experience, every moment, is too loud and too bright, and too overwhelming.

 

Autism comes out of the loo, and she walks to wash her hands counting 20. She rinses thoroughly. Overwhelming sound effects of water falling in metal sink. She then goes back in the loo and grabs some toilet paper and wipes her hands. She then bins the paper. Then, takes her staff from ADHD, who is waiting patiently.

 

Neurotypical Inner dialogue

Why did she choose the sink further away from me? Is she counting? 17, 18, 19, 20. Hmmm. I had a nephew who got eczema during Covid for doing that after seeing it in on the tele.

 

Autism to ADHD

Thank you.

 

ADHD

You’re welcome.

 

Neurotypical walks towards Autism to dust something off her shoulder.

Autism takes another step back.

 

ADHD

Remember what we said? Different and overwhelmed? It’s better if you warn and ask consent before you touch someone. Watch the ‘cup of tea’ video on YouTube.

 

Neurotypical

Oo. Sorry. I just wanted to dust this petal off of your shoulder. It must be from the Taverna party. Did you see them throw flowers on the live-music stage. They even smash dishes today. May I? Dust the petal?

 

Autism

OK.

 

ADHD

Happy holidays and a happy New Year to you both.

 

ADHD puts his headphones back and walks towards the toilets. Walks off stage.

 

Neurotypical and Autism start walking to the exit.

 

Neurotypical

So, what do you think of the party today?

 

Neurotypical opens the door. Autism following. We hear the Taverna music again.

 

Neurotypical and Autism walk out, off stage.

Fade out.

Festive music from the taverna.

The End