'Kinder' stage play

By Lotous Michalopoulou 

Cast of Characters:

Daphne: Neurodiverse mature student (Me), early forties

Muse: Daphne’s Alter ego, uses her voice, invisible to other characters.

Thea: Daphne’s Aunt (father’s side), mid-twenties

Zoe: Thea’s girlfriend, mid-twenties, nurse

Olga: Daphne’s older half-sister (mum’s side), late fifties, director and producer of documentaries in Greek National TV

Katie: early forties, Support worker from a theatre group for disabled people that Daphne is attending.

Preferred stage: Proscenium arch stage

 

Scene 1 Opening scene, living room, morning

 

Inside a living room, morning. Two sofas that create a Λ shape. A coffee table in the middle with a coffee cup. Sunshine can be seen from a sliding back yard door. DAPHNE and MUSE are sitting on the left sofa. MUSE is wearing a zipper hoodie. Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxDXTfnaLjY Daphne has an open laptop on her lap. We can see the laptop’s screen projected on to stage, behind the sofas. Screen has an open word document. DAPHNE types: ‘Writer’s blog.’ MUSE points on the laptop screen the spelling mistake. DAPHNE erases it all. Writes again: ‘Writer’s block... writer’s block... writer's block.’ Email notification on screen. DAPHNE turns off word file and opens emails. Three unread emails for missing payments from energy supply, phone bill, and Netflix. Another email pops up. Citizen’s advice for debts management. MUSE takes the laptop, minimises emails, and opens the word file again. Music stops.

 

Muse:     You said no more interruptions.

 

Daphne:   I’m tired. Can we have a break?

 

Muse:     To have a break you need to start first. You must focus. You already messed up your last assignment. I can’t believe you forgot to form your poem. A primary school student would know better.

 

Daphne:   It’s just... I am still processing the last events and Ma leaving me in the middle of the night.

 

Muse:     Don’t be melodramatic. What are you, a toddler or something? She told you she’s leaving. She even gave you her blessing. What else do you want?

 

Daphne:   I just thought... I don’t know what I thought.

 

Muse:     Writing always helps you process emotions.

 

Daphne:   I know. Still, it’s like you forget that I’m human sometimes.

 

Muse:     Hey. It’s supposed that you asked me to help you write. How am I going to do that when you get pathological demand avoidance, or something, with any of my suggestions?

 

Daphne:   What suggestions? You’re just telling me to write. No suggestions for what to write. I could use Google calendar for that.

 

Muse:     Do we have to do that every morning? You end up begging me to help you every night before we sleep anyway.

 

Daphne:   (Gets coffee cup, realises its empty) I need another coffee.

 

Sound of cats fighting. MUSE closes the laptop’s screen and rushes to the sliding back yard door.  

 

Muse:     But first, we save our cat.

 

Lights out.

 

 

Scene 2 The conversation, evening

 

Inside living room, evening. Deemed lights. DAPHNE and MUSE sit on the left sofa. THEA and ZOE sit on the right sofa. On the coffee table there is a bottle of wine and two bowls with snacks.

 

Daphne:   It’s up to you girls. I’m a preferentist. I have no advice about other people’s life. You are welcome to stay till her visa expires. After that, you better go back to Greece.

 

Thea:     How specific for a non-advice. And you just say that because you always had the luxury of being away.

 

Muse:     Away? Every year at least twice they visit for days just to spy for their gossip. Every couple of years one of them comes here for ‘a bit’ and stays for months somehow, just to mess about. I wonder sometimes who is crazier, me or them.

 

Thea:     I thought you are the one who keeps asking everyone to stay with you. (picks up the bottle, drinks some wine, and gives it to ZOE)

 

Daphne:   That’s irrelevant. They all leave at the end anyway.

 

Zoe:      Your family is like a soap opera. I love it.

 

Thea:     (takes the bottle from ZOE) She’s adorable when she’s drunk, isn’t she. (drinks some wine and leaves it back on the table)

 

Daphne:   Full cute.

 

Muse:     Your grandparents won’t see it like that. Have you warned her?

 

Zoe:      She has.

 

Daphne:   About her mum’s family? As you said, people usually find my side’s graphicness interesting, but her mum’s lot is the opposite kind. Victorian style whateverness.

 

Muse:     Have you told her about the time they said they’ll throw you off the window? Or was it the balcony?

 

(ZOE takes wine bottle)

 

Daphne:   I really don’t understand how they didn’t get over their puritanical mindset when your mum got with grandpa-Michael. I don’t mean just the age difference. I mean him having nine kids from four previous marriages.

 

Zoe:      (almost chokes while drinking from laughing) I keep forgetting about your dad.

 

Muse:     The magic of the subconscious.

 

Thea:     It wasn’t like that. We were just watching on the news the pride festival, and they said if their son was gay... Anyway. We’re thinking of going to Germany. We are both allowed to work there.

 

Daphne:   Yes, but neither of you speaks German.

 

Muse:     Can we stop ignoring Ganesha now?

 

Zoe:      I need subtitles with you two.

 

Thea:     Fine. What does the elephant in the room have to say?

 

Muse:     That you are too super cute together to hide it.

 

Daphne:   The only people you don’t want to know is your mum and her parents, whether you’re there or in Germany. Now that you finished your masters, maybe your family will finally let you be. You spend all those money here in the UK for her tickets and this medical-terms-test. For what? It seems they don’t want anyone from abroad. Not even nurses for the NHS.

 

Muse:     Though, if she had passed the test, we’d have another conversation now.

 

Daphne:   Have you seen Utopia on Amazon prime? My point is, it’s a creepy freaky world out there. Even eccentric as ours, family is everything we got.

 

Zoe:      Your mum is full cute. Last time I saw her, she gave me a hat she knitted. Where is she now?

 

Daphne:   She gives hats to everyone. She returned to my sister.

 

Muse:     Ma turned the meaning-of-life-party into a fiasco.

 

Thea:     I’ve heard. You’re still holding grudges for that?

 

Daphne:   No.

 

Zoe:      What happened? What is the meaning of life.

 

All 3:    Forty-two.

 

Daphne:   A sci-fi joke. G came from London with some friends for my birthday.

 

Zoe:      G?

 

Thea:     Her sister’s son, George. You’ve met his brother, Kostas. We went to his gig in London. Remember?

 

Zoe:      Oh, yeah. That was super awesome. I loved K’s song about OCD.

 

Muse:     We were supposed to go to the pride festival here. I told her not to come with us, because we’d walk a lot.

 

Daphne:   I wanted to spend the day walking about. Usually, my joints hurt. But that was a good day. I had missed those.

 

Muse:     We had the cake and the videocalls with family here first. We’re at the door, putting shoes on, and she’s like: ‘I’m coming with you’.

 

Daphne:   She wouldn’t take no for an answer. She just started walking with us.

 

Muse:     The minute we got there, suddenly she’s ‘dying’. I think she was just bored.

 

Daphne:   She asked to go to the hospital. She wasn’t feeling well after all this walking.

 

Muse:     Though, we hadn’t even started yet.

 

Daphne:   Luckily, they had paramedics there, I called one, and he’s like: ‘She’s fine, just give her some water.’ They checked her vitals, and they said that all looks well.

 

Muse:     Yet, she insisted to cancel the party because she was ‘dying’!

 

Daphne:   She wanted to return home. G and his friends drove her. They had to go pick up the car first.

 

Muse:     By that time, not even Sixty-nine could save Forty-two.

 

Daphne:   Forgive that blasphemy. (She takes the wine bottle and raises it) To pride. (passes the bottle to THEA)

 

Thea:     Cheers. (drinks and gives it to ZOE)

 

Zoe:      Yia mas. (drinks and leaves it on table)

 

Thea:     Tell us what happened with the heresy?

 

Daphne:   The Mormons? I returned home earlier one day, and two American dudes are sitting right here. Ma has that look in her face, like if she’s a toddler that got caught having a bad tummy from eating the forbidden cake.

 

Thea:     I know that look of hers. Come one, you have to admit that your mum is a dear. She had come to our place once, and she opened the door for the cat to get out because Ging was mewing. She thought she shouldn’t do that. She didn’t know that we do let him out. She had that very look on her face when I asked her if she has seen the cat. I wish I had taken a picture of her. It would make the best meme ever.

 

Zoe:      Two dudes are here, and?

 

Daphne:   I just mind my own business and go make a coffee. I overhear them telling her that it’s only ‘the Devil’ putting doubts in her heart. I go back in and ask her if she’s comfortable with all this, and she starts crying and mumbling. They stand up—and they’re both like two meters tall—and they tell me not to interfere, and to her that they have already made all the arrangements and she can’t back up now. It tuns out they’ve had been contacting her for weeks and they planned her to be baptised.

 

Thea:     I thought your mum was very religious already.

 

Daphne:   She is. Yet, after the priest of the Greek community told her no one can drive her there every Sunday, she was looking for a church nearby, so when they knocked the door, she thought it was an answer to her prayers. However, when she realised that she must renounce her orthodox faith, she felt trapped.

 

Muse:     I get into Avatar-mode, and I tell them that it’s not OK to proselytize 83-years-olds with early dementia, and they should leave my property at once.

 

Zoe:      Wow.

 

Daphne:   Then I spend days writing letters to YWAM. A missionary training Olga sent me when I was nineteen. I was kicked out last week of the six months course when they caught me kissing a boy.

 

Zoe:      A boy?

 

Thea:     She’s bi.

 

Muse:     Can you believe they let the boy stay?

 

Daphne:   They asked me if I was OK with that. He was there with a church scholarship. He would really get in trouble.

 

Zoe:      Did they answer to your emails?

 

Daphne:   They did, paradoxically.

 

Muse:     They stopped when they read the last email. It was a bit too much.

 

Daphne:   I was like: ‘I was raised in a Christian environment. I was born-again when I was nine. I came to India, to serve God. Instead, I was kicked out, returned in shame. I never went back to church. I lost my faith. I turned to philosophy. I need answers, and it took me more than twenty years to find the courage to ask the questions.’

 

Thea:     Super graphic indeed.

 

Muse:     I bet they thought: ‘if you kept your tongue away of boys’ mouths’. You should just focus on your assignment girl.

 

Thea:     Oh yeah. How is this going? (takes wine bottle)

 

Daphne:   Bad.

 

Incoming videocall. We see it on the screen. DAPHNE picks it up. THEA is showing something on her phone to ZOE. ZOE laughs.

 

Olga:     Turn on your lights, I can’t see you well, and lower the volume.

 

Daphne:   It’s not the tele.

 

Thea:     (holding the bottle) Hey Mrs. Olga.

 

Olga:     You’re drinking now? That’s new. Are you making a collection of disorders? Anorexia and bulimia aren’t enough for you? I can’t take care of you forever you know. I heard you got sick again. What got you to the hospital this time?

 

Daphne:   Take-away ramen.

 

Muse:     (whispering to DAPHNE) Are you just going to let her talk to you like that?

 

Daphne:   You know what? I’m tired of you patronising me.

 

Thea:     Did you just hang up on her?

 

Zoe:      That escalated fast.

 

Muse:     Finally.

 

Thea:     I didn’t know you were sick.

 

Muse:     That one was extra traumatic.

 

Daphne:   After weeks of emails and phone calls with PayPlan, when they got every little detail of my personal information, they told me that I don’t have sufficient funds to arrange payments for my debts, because, and I’m quoting, I’m ‘using too much money for toiletries!’ I was like: ‘you recorded all my data, to conclude that you can’t help me because I use too much toilet paper?’

 

Thea:     Lolliest lol ever.

 

Daphne:   I asked her to show the recording to her supervisor, and I tried to make it explicit: ‘is not OK to take peoples sensitive info, with the promise to help them, just to dump them to their fate at the end.’ Anyhow, I ended up getting sick.

 

Thea:     From being upset?

 

Zoe:      Mood affects a lot all chronic conditions.

 

 

Daphne:   The fifth day I was throwing up, I made the mistake to go to the hospital. When the nurse saw me, she said she’ll put me higher in the priority for the doctor. One or two hours later—I lost track—the door of the doctor opens, and she finds me on the floor sleeping. I hadn’t sleep for days. Then, I put my fingers in my mouth, it was instinctive. I was feeling I was drowning, but they kept asking me how I feel. They were loud and overwhelming, and I got non-verbal.

 

Thea:     Bless your cotton socks.

 

Daphne:   I was trying to explain, when one doctor was asked to go out of the room by the other one, because she was obviously stressing me more. Then I was given a pill and told not to drink water for half an hour. I remember looking at my watch to check when thirty minutes will pass. I was seeing black dots when I raised my eyes. I tried to get up but my limps where twitching and not keeping me steady. I think I fall when I was stepping at the door. Then the scary one came back, and she started punching me at the chest and saying that I’m faking it. She said that my behaviour is not normal.

 

Thea:     She what?

 

Muse:     For reals.

 

Daphne:   I am autistic with fibromyalgia, I’m tired of hearing that all my life whenever I ask for help.

 

Zoe:      Did you make a complaint?

 

Daphne:   I told Olga. She said it’s my fault for putting my fingers in my mouth, and she is surprised they didn’t lock me up.

 

Thea:     (to ZOE) They used to medicate her behind her back when she was a teen. She realised only when she moved out and had withdrawals.

 

Zoe:      No...

 

Thea:     Yes! (To DAPHNE) You need to see ‘Hell camp—teen nightmare’. Their own parents paid people to torture them into becoming ‘well behaved’. Also, remember ‘Orange is the new black’? Piper went out, and Tasty got blamed for a murder she didn’t do. They both went to the same prison. It’s just one had support from her family, the other didn’t.

 

Zoe:      See? It’s not always the institutions to blame.

 

Daphne:   Hmmm. Well, remember the theatre company I’m attending? I told them about the hospital incident, and they got their safeguarding team working on a formal complaint. They were so supportive.

 

Muse:     I read The Gulag Archipelago last summer. Solzhenitsyn’s conclusion was that there could not be a dictatorship if we were all kind to our family and friends.

 

Zoe:      I don’t get that. How?

 

Muse:     He was thrown to exile, without having done anything. He wasn’t even against the regime. In Siberia he met a lot of people that was send there, like him, by someone they knew. Family, friends, neighbours.

 

Thea:     How?

 

Daphne:   Someone accused them of being against the government, just because they didn’t like them. Or they liked their friend’s girlfriend a bit too much, and that would leave her single. Any stupid motive. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that it wasn’t some kind of impersonal tyranny. It was people they once trusted that got them there. Totalitarianism to work, people need to let it.

 

Muse:     Yeah, maybe, it’s not always the Romans to blame.

 

Thea:     (To ZOE) She calls institutions and stuff ‘Roman empire’.

 

Muse:     (unzips her hoodie and takes it off) To Pax Romana.

 

(DAPHNE picks up bottle and passes it to ZOE)

 

 

Zoe:      To being kind to each other. Or at least kinder.

 

Thea:     (Looks at her watch) It’s always nice when it’s just the three of us. Yet I didn’t realise it was so late. Friends are waiting for us in the centre.

 

They all get up. THEA and ZOE kiss DAPHNE goodbye. They ignore MUSE. MUSE’s t-shirt on the back says: imaginary-Friend/Alter-ego/Muse. THEA and ZOE exit SR.

 

Lights out.

 

 

Scene 3 Finale, living room, night

 

Lights on.

 

Inside living room, night. DAPHNE is sitting on the sofa with an open laptop on her lap. MUSE is sitting next to her. Screen has an open word document. DAPHNE types: ‘assignment 2.’ The phone rings.

 

Muse:     You promised no interruptions.

 

DAPHNE rejects call and turns phone off. She types: ‘Scene 1.’

 

Daphne:   Thank you. I know I don’t say it much.

 

Videocall on screen.

 

Muse:     Again?

 

Daphne:   No. That is from the theatre group. (picks it up) Hello.

 

Katie:    How are you today?

 

Daphne:   Trying some writing therapy at the moment.

 

Katie:    Perfect. I have neutral and good news. Which one first?

 

Daphne:   Always bad news first.

 

Katie:    I didn’t say bad. Don’t worry. The process of the formal complaint is moving forward. It will just take a bit longer than we hoped.

 

Daphne:   I thought no one will even care. I’m already feeling that there has been some justice. I am not used to being listened.

 

Muse:     (whispers to DAPHNE) Ask about the good news.

 

Katie:    The good news is that we’d like you to write a script.

 

We hear the song from the beginning.

 

Lights out.