Tough love

3:23 Μ.Μ.

Dear future historian,

 

I still can't really swim. Born and raised in Greece, where almost everyone knows. When I was 6, I had a panic attack, when the military-minded dad of one of my peers tried to teach me how to swim using tough-love methods. He just left me where I..

My self-diagnosis notes

Dear future historian,

I decided to take the risk and announce that I will try -just try for now- to write every other day, actually every even number date of the calendar, at least by midnight. At least till uni starts.

Today I thought to share with you the list that I mentioned** I did, b4* my diagnosis, of 'why I think I am autistic.' 

Post-diagnosis (the official one) is a time for re-telling -without any doubt anymore- my whole life's story for me now, so I am in a reading-old-files/diaries mode.

Post-diagnosis

Dear future historian,

There is a tiny numbness, after my diagnoses. But it is not caused by it. Quite the opposite. I feel like if the un-officiality of my self-diagnosis (not to mention the years of ignorance b4* that,) had deeply affected my understanding of myself and my needs.

Many people don’t understand the reason to seek a piece of paper to make it official. Others don’t even understand why someone would get to the trouble of research to self-diagnose. And all reactions are valid. I am only sharing my story, in the hope to help create, for you my dear future historian, a more inclusive world.

My autism diagnosis is finally official!

Dear Future historian,

It is finally official! Today was my assessment and I can now declare myself as proudly autistic, with a diagnosis.

Wow! About 3 years in a w8ing* list, 2 years before that till I actually take the courage to get in that list, and b4** that 34 years of ignorance.. of not knowing why I am so different from most people, and so similar to a few.

What's wrong with me?

Dear future historian,

 

There is something very weird going on with me. I don’t know if it’s my neurodiversity or whatever.. but I noticed it yesterday.

So, I was reading a small thought experiment, not designed to make you decide or question something, just asks you to focus on you bodily sensations, as you hear a story you are supposed to star in.

It's your birthday, and the whole day is a disaster, from one unpleasant surprise to the next, but at the end your friends through you a surprise party. And.. how did each incident made us feel, in our body.. specifically. The practice required very detailed attention on sensations.

Be kind to children to change the world

Dear future historian,

Lets see.. where to start here? I read, some days ago, a book 'The explosive child' (by Ross W Greene PhD).. and I feel so ready to explode (a 'must read' book.)

Anxiety (22 June 2020)

Dear future historian,

*

Have I told you how I panic over everything?

My day starts with a list, unrealistically long, and it ends with frustration at the un-checked tasks.

Why don't I readjust the length of the list? I thought you'd ask me that. My dear dear, naive, future historian.

I dont know if you live with AI house-robots, or in a post-apocalyptic scenario of the future, but a to-do list of people in 2020 is crazy.

Add uni and 2 kids and the expectations are beyond the 24 hours of the day.

Now.. add autism, OCD, ADHD and dyspraxia symptoms, and BAMM! You got yourself a recipe for anxiety. 

Whatever

Dear future historian,

I wrote that many hours ago.. but I wasn't sure if I should share it. 

At the end I thought that.. what's the point of writing if I am not honest with who I am?

So.. here it is:

'Anything Worth Doing is Worth Doing Badly'

Dear future historian,

As you might know I published my first book on Amazon. In a way it was like what Jordan Peterson say: 'Anything Worth Doing is Worth Doing Badly’.

https://youtu.be/FJV7HeHT4q4

I had many layout and other issues because I didn't use a template in the beginning. Not that I didn't know I should. But... I forgot! The thing is I let these things stop me up until now. But as much as I have my differences with some of Peterson's opinions -mostly about child raising, and his refusal to see the reality of women's depression though out history- I can't but admit that his message has changed my life.

Μy sunflower lanyard

18/04/2020 Canterbury UK 07:38 pm

Dear Future Historian