4/06/2023

Finally today is the day

 Dear future historian,

I know I have been missing for months, but we both know that (time gaps in the past) for you is not even a thing; at least not a thing that has time separating my last post from this one. For you it's just a turn of the page, or a keep-scrolling kind of thing.

The distance to walk between the Parthenon marvels and the Benin bronzes in the British Museum. (Are these still there? A topic for another day, maybe).

Back to us. Is there a 'we', my dear future historian?

Am I just imagining a relationship, a dialogue, between us, all these years? Or am I facilitating (creating actually) a Parasocial relationship, * in which our time distance makes the possibility of our relationship ever becoming a two-way one impossible? And, if that is the case, is that OK, or not?

I suppose I cannot be hold accountable if you suddenly use my letters to you to create a toxic parasocial relationship with a historical figure.

But, I can be hold responsible for using you as an excuse to hide from my contemporary world, and miss opportunities to interact with people that can reply back to me.

And, that’s exactly what I’ve not been doing all these months.

Have I told you anything about my theatre group?

I finally found local people, with common interest. Nice, kind, talented and creative people.

One day I saw a Facebook add that they auditioned neurodiverse amateur actors, and (after a long period of my teen daughter commenting that my face it too expressive, whatever that means,) I decided to give it a go.

And there, at Square Pegs Theatre Company, I found the family of friends I was looking for all my life. That warm feeling of trust I had with kids at church, when I was little, combined with that feeling of true connection you only get for some moments with a group of people in the dance floor. (Disclaimer: I do not dance. But, I have been in some music festivals that I felt that connection).

We did a movie last year. About, among other things, how blare is our judgement regarding what is and what is not really kind. We are fast when it comes to judging other people’s behaviour, but we are very slow, and, sometimes, entirely missing out our own selfish reactions.

It was the most fulfilling project I took part in. It was creative, fun to do, and surrounded by positive, kind, talented people.

I am still working with Square Pegs Theatre Company, and I am looking forward to introducing you to our new projects.

Additionally, I have my personal creative projects that I’m working on. Well, working on might be a tinny stretch at the moment. It’s been months I am only working on my university philosophy assignments, which I am not allowed to publish. And, though I could use the topics as inspiration to write a creative peace about philosophy, I preferred to invest my time this winter gathering energy from both-ways, real-flesh, relationships. And also, while I was about to finish my first novel about Eros (Cupid), I found the love of my life (more on that in my coming—fingers crossed the coming autumn—novel) and I needed time to relax and collect my broken-from-past-trauma-pieces. I also had, and still do for the next two months, dedicate myself to my philosophy studies.

Nevertheless, I have promised you a ‘Spring 2023’, and, I am told, books won’t write themselves. So, since, and mostly that is the reason, I am feeling a lot more stable emotionally now (even if the outside world is quite demanding, many times unrealistically demanding). I feel I missed you. I feel, when I’m doing my washing, that I have so many things I’m thinking about, and I want to tell you. Then I’m doing the laundry and more topics come up for you. And, all that is cute and stuff, but when I’m writing my assignment and all I can think is things I want to tell you, then it’s time to get back to you, my dear hunting-me-dear-future-historian.

I’m going to leave you here for now, and come back to you, hopefully soon, to talk about objective value in philosophy, the meaning of life, love, and other intresting topics.

Keep an eye on that page (Oo... but my time is not a thing for you we said... oh well. Let that comment be for my few contemporary readers.)

 

*Google definition: ‘Parasocial relationships are one-sided relationships, where one person extends emotional energy, interest and time, and the other party, the persona, is completely unaware of the other's existence. Parasocial relationships are most common with celebrities, organizations (such as sports teams) or television stars.’ Additional resources: Check out this video on YouTube, where I first heard about Parasocial relationships. It talks about them after minute 23 (the entire video is interesting, as all the videos in this channel. Philosophy Tube is my new hobby/Parasocial relationship) ;) 

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